“You’re not pro-life. You’re pro-birth.” This pithy phrase is often used to shut down opponents on message boards, and it is even sometimes invoked by people in the public eye. The irony is that the accuser rarely knows enough about the accused to make this allegation fairly. While most uses of this statement are manipulative in nature, there is some truth (for some people) at the heart of it.
Firstly, I will deal with the manipulative nature of the phrase. It is most often followed by a list of progressive causes, claiming that if the person in question does not lobby for a host of issues such as unrestricted borders, then he/she is clearly a hypocrite. Many of the pet issues listed have absolutely nothing to do with “life,” and if they do, it is a tangential relationship that could be argued for almost any cause and could be easily reversed. For example, if I used only my own concerns, I might structure it like this: “If you don’t support protecting the unborn, saving rescue dogs, and autoimmune disease research, you do not really care about life.” In essence, if you do not check off every issue that matters to me, you are a complete hypocrite. You might support some of these things, but if you do not support all of them, you still end up in the “bad guy” category and lose your status as a human who cares about others. When used in this context- in an attempt to shame people of opposing views and manipulate them into supporting unrelated issues that matter to the accuser- it is a completely false statement.
Another reason this accusation often fails is that it does not take into account that many of the people who claim the “pro-life” title give generously to the disadvantaged. Most relief organizations in the world are religious, and many of these religious people are pro-life. The Catholic Church, one of the biggest pro-life organizations in the world, has always been a leading fighter of poverty around the globe. They send nuns and priests into places you and I would shiver to go, and their congregants are often very generous toward these causes. My own Evangelical church has a particular heart for adoption. During my few years volunteering in the nursery, I was shocked at how many families in our church had adopted children from all races, many with disabilities. One couple had only a few days to decide if they would take a family of three who needed an immediate adoption, and they did so. The church rallied around them to help. Stories like these are not at all uncommon in pro-life circles.
Now that I have touched on some of this phrase’s weaknesses, it is appropriate to admit that there can be truth to it. For some, there is an obsession with saving the life of the unborn child, but there is still contempt or lack of concern for the mother. I am ashamed to say that I have heard vocally pro-life people look at the disadvantaged mother of multiple children and make disparaging comments about welfare. I have witnessed disdain toward young mothers who had chosen life, but who were still being judged for their sexual choices in becoming pregnant. On message boards, I have seen shameful things said, along the lines of, “She should learn how to use birth control or keep her legs closed.” For people with these attitudes, I would have to agree, the mindset is much more pro-birth than pro-life. Pro-life people should speak out loudly against such talk when we hear or see it, and point out the hypocrisy behind such attitudes. It does not, however, represent the whole group, and it is impossible to weed out the good and the bad with such a broad accusation, usually directed at an unknown person.
We are also worthy of the phrase when we treat abortion with a lack of compassion. There is no denying that some underneath our umbrella are shockingly callous. Some pro-life people can be dismissive of the desperate scenarios many women find themselves facing, but a heartless attitude will not win supporters, nor should it. We should seek to come along side women in these situations and take into account the daunting task they face in bringing this life into the world. We should give freely of our time and resources to help lighten the burden, and if they choose to go forward with the abortion, we should not cast dispersions and judgments. We should be in the business of preventing more abortions but not shaming those who have had them or are considering them.
In my opinion, one should not be either only “pro-life” or only “pro-birth.” Someone who is TRULY pro-life should care about the child (and the mother carrying it) both before and after birth, and should strive to do anything possible to make the choice easier. Pro-life people should support organizations that assist the mother in making the choice we say we want so badly. The cost (physically, emotionally, and financially) of having a child is enormous. We are asking a woman to take the option that is far more difficult, and as such, we must be willing to help. Conversely, someone who is TRULY pro-life should not only care about the child/woman after the birth. I have heard people say, “I’m anti-abortion, but I’ve changed my thinking to encompass more aspects of life than just birth.” I am always confused by the “but” in this statement, as the two are not mutually exclusive. Someone who is concerned about a human 2 seconds after birth should also be concerned about that same human 2 seconds before birth. Such a person should fight for struggling mothers and others suffering throughout the world and also speak out against the atrocities done to the unborn, including viable babies who can feel pain.
In summary, I am generally doubtful of the intentions of people who tell a stranger, “You are not really pro-life. You are pro-birth.” I believe it is most often used in a manipulative, insincere, and factually incorrect context. However, pro-life people should not write off this stereotype. If we see the ugly truth behind it in our midst, we should confront it forcefully. Meanwhile, we should continue to shed light on the human rights violations going on in the abortion industry. We should provide help, support, and zero judgment to women contemplating this choice. Lastly, we should applaud and assist women who have decided to give their child up for adoption or raise it themselves. We are asking women to make a choice that will change every aspect of their lives, and we can’t high five each other and turn a blind eye after they decide in our favor.
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Jackie Chea is a blogger from San Antonio, Texas who holds a B.A. in Psychology and an M.A. in Community Counseling from the University of Texas at San Antonio. She writes on political and cultural issues from a conservative, religious standpoint. She lives in the Lone Star State with her husband Nick, her 5-year-old son Lincoln, and her rescue dogs. |
Glad to see that you have created this site. Looking forward to more thoughtful articles.